During my retreat, I realized the importance of living life earnestly. Staying in retreat requires an earnest effort. When one is earnest, then one possesses a stable personality. When one is stable in dealing with people and occurrences, then one’s personality will grow and improve fully.
I remember a couple of my students from teaching at the junior colleges in the past. Their scholastic achievements were ordinary at the best, their abilities to handle things were also not really "outstanding" in any sense, but they were very practical, very stable and they did have their own point of view but were not stubborn. They would listen to their teacher's suggestions and contemplated on their own. Since they liked Buddhist philosophy, later both took monastic vows. After their renunciation from samsara, they learned Buddha Dharma persistently and maintained a modest attitude. Again their performances were not impressive and in fact quite plain. However, they applied the teachings in their lives, subdued their emotions and kept feelings well under control.
Over these past years, I ran into these two nuns, one in Taipei City, one in Pingtung; one of them appeared simple and proper with an ascetic attitude, the other one was sporting a robust healthy face but stable in manner. Although the two nuns’ appearances were different, I had good impression of both of them. The reason is that they "concentrated" steadfastly to implement their ideals. They were like two different kinds of flowers, separately bloomed with joy, and displayed the beauty of self-realization. They graduated from the Fo Guang Shan Buddhist University; the scholastic training deepened their knowledge. In return, their maturity and stability showed like the rare glaze changes on the porcelain vases in the high-temperature kiln.
光陰似箭，十幾年過去了，日新月異的變遷中，社會多樣的人文變化快速，人們在豐沛的知識訊息中茫然的迷失著自我，多數人沒有了判斷真偽的能力，名嘴一大堆，焦點卻更模糊，許多人們甚至對國家級的領導人與公益團體也喪失了信心。
又有一次，是民國七十五年的事，我去鹿谷淨律寺小住，出坡時我幫一位師父擦餐桌，他教了我一遍之後，我卻用我自己的方法去擦，他不說話，把抹布拿了回去，默默的自己去擦，我心裡雖不是滋味，甚至還嘀咕，但至少我降伏了當時的自我，按照他的方式繼續擦拭！「他的方法科學嗎？他的態度太冷漠了！他可以說明嘛！」，我們往往在這樣的生活中度日，我們往外觀看與評鑑之後，決定自己再如何出招！
現在寺院裡是否也順應著人心的改變而作了調整，說著好聽的言語「鼓勵大於責備！」為了留下信徒不敢說真心話規勸弟子：「隨順眾生」，「不講都不來了，講多了會有人來嗎？」不停的讚嘆，讓人產生出歸屬感和認同感，在虛榮與掌聲中安然度日，一旦被指責或不被青睞時，這些人便揚長而去！
這就是末法開始的現象吧！很少人喜歡聽真心話，很少人懂得內自省！大家都喜歡不要改變自我，讓別人的瓶蓋適合我的瓶口。甚至對上師也如此要求著。
社會的人也就罷了，學佛的人若也是這樣，那麼學佛的目的是什麼呢？不談無我也罷了，自私的我不停的僵化，自我的情緒不停的膨脹；大家除了想被尊重之後，更想當個寺院的老大，有錢沒錢的都是老大，想讓師父也聽他的，這是學的什麼佛？快回去賺錢吧！把寺廟搞的烏煙瘴氣不說，自我傲慢的怒火還將延燒到未來的自我。
「學佛一年，佛在眼前。學佛兩年，佛在天邊。學佛三年，向佛要錢！」真可憐愍！
我也是凡夫，也犯過這樣的過錯。我也是眾生，也具有無明時的迷惘。但我發心學佛，便學著往覺悟的心上去交會。我沒有反省的力量時，我發願謙虛的依止善友，指導我的正路！因為在佛法真理的面前，我只能謙卑。我進進退退，但我仍發願漸漸增上。除非，我不想學佛！
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